Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My sweet girl is 5!

Marymae turned five today. It hurts my heart to see her getting big. Five is a stellar year, isn't it? She'll start kindergarten in the fall. Luckily, I have her all to myself to school--I am excited to teach her. She will be a totally different kind of learner than Allen, so she'll keep me on my toes. I wish I had known her the day she was born. I wish I had seen her learn to roll over and sit up. I only lost eight and a half months of her life; that is a blessing, but, as always, I want more. Marymae is a challenge; she has a mind of her own. She loves to sing, play with the puppies and get dirty. She occasionally wets her panties because she is too busy to stop whatever it is she doing to go to the bathroom. As much as she frustrates me, she also inspires me to be better at mothering her. She is the best big sister to her brother that I have ever seen. She takes exceptional care of him. She doesn't like him to cry so she gives him whatever it is he needs. She plays with him and follows him around. She notifies me when anything with him goes awry. I love her so much and I thank my God for her everyday.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

What is wrong with me?

Do you ever feel like you just can't get anything right? I mean, geez, I try to be a good child of God, I try to be a good wife, I try to be a good mother, I try to be a good friend and...I never get any of it right. I'm not having a pity party because I know I get it right enough for the people who love me, but I don't get it right enough for ME. I am my worst critic. I cannot give myself kudos for anything I ever do. It's just not good enough. Is everyone like this? Do people constantly question themselves for every little thing they are doing? For example, right this very minute, Benjamin is banging on my arm wanting me to pick him up, but I want to finish this post. But, I am overcome with thoughts like, "you should just quit and pick him up and be thankful you have him, if you don't quit and pick him up, then you fail". What's up with that? Is it that I am just trying to make myself better or is it a lack of faith maybe in God's ability to transform me? I just don't know where it all comes from. Everything I do I want to do better. I want to reach more people and share my Jesus with them. I want to be a better wife and do all of the things that I know make Jerry happy. I want to homeschool Allen so that he loves to learn and do projects and art and music while at the same time be his mentor. I want to make Marymae feel like she is the most precious little girl that ever lived and never get mad at her. I want to give Benjamin all the undivided attention he must need and pick him up whenver he wants me to. I want my friends to be able to call me and actually return their calls and do whatever is they need from me. I want to call my mom more. I want to call my dad more. I want a closer relationship with my sister and brothers and their families. I want to see my grandparents more....and it goes on and on and on. Where do I stop? What is wrong with me or I am normal? I am too busy, do I have my priorities in line, am I doing the best I can? I need to be still. How?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Crack kills (or at least makes you die laughing)

Is that a cute hiney or what? He's helping me vacuum the floor. Sweet baby, but an even sweeter hiney.

Friday, February 6, 2009

These fish crack me up.

We went to the aquarium one day and Marymae sat down on the floor by the shark tank. These two Goliath fish swam up next to her and just there as if they wanted me to take a picture, so I did.
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Have you ever seen such gorgeousness?


Sheridan took this picture of Benjamin today. Isn't it precious? He's wearing one of my favorite shirts of his too.
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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Benjamin gets his tongue clipped...but before he does....

video

Recently, Jerry and I decided it was time to clip Benjamin's tongue. We found out a while back that he was tongue tied and I asked Marymae's ENT about it the last time we were in. He recommended we clip his tongue after hearing the way Benjamin said "banana". While we were in the office, before the tongue clipping, I videoed it real quick because it was so cute and I knew after the clipping he would learn to say it correctly. Enjoy my precious "tongue tied no more" baby saying, "banana" before he got tortured with a papoose and a pair of scissors.